A few funny jokes

Balloon Dog
Balloon
Cardboard Dog
Black Cat Silhouette

Here at Collar & Comb Grooming we approach our work with professionalism, but we approach life with fun!  We don’t promise that you will ‘fall off your seat’ laughing at the jokes below but we hope they bring a smile, if only because they are so bad!

 

If after reding the jokes, you think things can only get better, then why not look at the other services we can provide to you and your pets.

Cat
Drawing of Cat
Cartoon cat face
Cartoon dog face
Blue Parachute
Cardboard Dog
Cartoon Dog

Dog Jokes

Q. What dog wears contact lenses?

A. A cock-eyed spaniel

 

Q. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A. He stole the show!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Labrador with a telephone?

A. A golden receiver.

Q. What kind of dog can jump as high as a tall building?

A. Any kind. A building can't jump!

 

Q. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A. A collie-flower

 

Q. What do you call a happy Lassie?

A. A jolly collie

 

Q. What do you call a German Shepard in jeans and t-shirt?

A. A plain clothes police dog!  

 

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?

A. A friend you can count on.

 

Q. What do you get if you cross Lassie with a Rottweiler?

A. A dog that bites off your arm and then runs to get help.

 

Q. What do you call a large dog that meditates?

A. Aware Wolf.

 

A three-legged dog walks into a country and western saloon.  He strolls up to the bar and says: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!’

 

A dog walks into the job centre and says: ‘I am looking for a job.’  Amazed, the clerk said: ‘Wow! a talking dog.  I am sure we can find you a job in the circus.’  ‘The circus!’, exclaimed the dog. ‘What would a circus want with a plumber?’

 

Q. Why don’t blind people go skydiving more often?
A.  Because it frightens their guide dog!

 

Q. Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?

A. They’ve got two left feet!

Cat Jokes

Q. What does a cat have that no other animal has.

A. Kittens

 

Q. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A. One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

 

Q. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?

A. He set a new lap record.

 

Q. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

A. She had mittens.

 

Q. How do you know when your cat has been using your computer?

A. When your mouse has teeth marks on it!

 

Q. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show. 

A. A Cat-Has-Trophy.

Paw prints
Trophy
Peeping Dog
Dog
Dog bone
Napoleon Dog
Silhouette of a cat
Drawing of Cat